Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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