some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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