he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
