so that wasnt chicken after all
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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