i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
