True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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