I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
