Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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