dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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