Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
