We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
