party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
