They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
