it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
