Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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