Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
