...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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