I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises