u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.