its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.