No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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