I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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