You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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