So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Everyone says I win the strip club
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
