do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
