I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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