I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
