Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
