I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
