people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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