Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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