She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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