There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
