That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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