This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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