he puts the penis in happiness.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
