some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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