but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
high people should be assigned attendants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize