so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
