Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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