New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
