Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
