So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
