What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
