just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
