I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
