Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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