I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
