Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
