is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize