I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
