i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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