No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Damn victory sex feels great
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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