Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
