Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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