is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
