He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
