Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have post one night stand depression
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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