Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
