Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just want to make out with him forever
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
