Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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