So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
