It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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