I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
