Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
