i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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