He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
