I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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