Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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