you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize