yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
